Drawings on my feelings evoked by infertility and loss
Nov 18, 2013
I will miss you
I drew this to a friend I met through a stillbirth discussion board. Even if we had very similar IF journeys and shared the hardest years, we still had a hard time facing each others pregnancies - she mine before I miscarried, me hers after that.
Heartbreaking. I can relate to this so much especially right now. I feel like being pregnant I am suddenly in this strange no man's land...not like 'normal' pregnant women, but no longer one of the awful IF club. I feel sensitive about commenting or having too much contact with people who are still struggling and might find my current pregnancy painful, and yet I don't want them to feel I'm abandoning them either. It's such a tricky place to be (whether you're still waiting or finally pregnant), and just one more of the ways that IF/loss colour or human relationships. Thanks for articulating so simply what so many of us struggle with.
It truly is a tricky place, a mixture of emotions. I have been discouraged, angry and jealous of others' pregnancies, and then I have felt quilt over these feelings. Today, I sometimes question if it is ok to blog on IF as my journey is not something happening right now. It's just that I did not have the strength to do this then when it was. Sometimes I don't comment, cause I am afraid I might hurt someone just by being a woman who succeeded. But succeeding does not equal to turning into someone who does not understand what IF feels like.
I feel this from another point of view. I'm a loss mom and unable to have more children after my daughter died. Meanwhile all my friends are going on and having more children and I'm just stuck..... left behind..... and we drift apart :(
Thank you for your comment. I hope that with time, when your friends' children grow older and life emphasis changes, you can find each other again. I wish these feelings were easier to deal with.
I can relate to this so very well. I have a friend who also dealt with IF and I definitely drifted away and apart during her pregnancy. It was so hard to deal with the emotions.
Oh, I have experienced something similar as well. It's so tough. Even with my sisters, all of their children have been born while my husband and I have been TTC. We're the only ones left without a child. It was so hard to watch and be a part of, I felt like we had nothing we could talk about and the gap between their place in life and ours was so, so different.
Thank you for stopping by my blog! I know, that gap sometimes feels huge. There were about twenty babies born to our near ones the years we were TTC so I really know what you are talking about!
I love your penguins. This particular drawing is such a great depiction of how our IF relationships ebb and flow, sometimes growing apart and never reaching a point where we are connected again.
So, regarding the embryo transfer that you commented on ... what an interesting journey that must bring you to this consideration. It's so hard to imagine what this will do to your relationship with your friends ... this would undoubtedly bring them the greatest joy of all, but I understand your hesitancy ... I look forward to learning more about your journey! :)
Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your encouraging feedback! I definitely plan to follow your blog to help me decide what would be best way for us to do this.
Heartbreaking. I can relate to this so much especially right now. I feel like being pregnant I am suddenly in this strange no man's land...not like 'normal' pregnant women, but no longer one of the awful IF club. I feel sensitive about commenting or having too much contact with people who are still struggling and might find my current pregnancy painful, and yet I don't want them to feel I'm abandoning them either. It's such a tricky place to be (whether you're still waiting or finally pregnant), and just one more of the ways that IF/loss colour or human relationships. Thanks for articulating so simply what so many of us struggle with.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sadie for stopping by again <3
DeleteIt truly is a tricky place, a mixture of emotions. I have been discouraged, angry and jealous of others' pregnancies, and then I have felt quilt over these feelings. Today, I sometimes question if it is ok to blog on IF as my journey is not something happening right now. It's just that I did not have the strength to do this then when it was. Sometimes I don't comment, cause I am afraid I might hurt someone just by being a woman who succeeded. But succeeding does not equal to turning into someone who does not understand what IF feels like.
I feel this from another point of view. I'm a loss mom and unable to have more children after my daughter died. Meanwhile all my friends are going on and having more children and I'm just stuck..... left behind..... and we drift apart :(
ReplyDeleteStopping by from ICLW
Thank you for your comment. I hope that with time, when your friends' children grow older and life emphasis changes, you can find each other again. I wish these feelings were easier to deal with.
DeleteThis gets the point across so eloquently!
ReplyDeleteHi there, I just nominated you for the Stork Award! Check out my blog for the details!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sweetie! :-) Love that logo, me too.
DeleteI can relate to this so very well. I have a friend who also dealt with IF and I definitely drifted away and apart during her pregnancy. It was so hard to deal with the emotions.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard! I hated both the feelings and the quilt I felt for them.
DeleteOh, I have experienced something similar as well. It's so tough. Even with my sisters, all of their children have been born while my husband and I have been TTC. We're the only ones left without a child. It was so hard to watch and be a part of, I felt like we had nothing we could talk about and the gap between their place in life and ours was so, so different.
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets better for you, it's so tough.
http://www.askaninfertile.blogspot.ca/
Thank you for stopping by my blog! I know, that gap sometimes feels huge. There were about twenty babies born to our near ones the years we were TTC so I really know what you are talking about!
DeleteHi from ICLW. I've dealt with the same in my infertility journey.
ReplyDeleteHi and thanks for stopping by :-)
DeleteThank you for commenting on my blog!
ReplyDeleteI love your penguins. This particular drawing is such a great depiction of how our IF relationships ebb and flow, sometimes growing apart and never reaching a point where we are connected again.
So, regarding the embryo transfer that you commented on ... what an interesting journey that must bring you to this consideration. It's so hard to imagine what this will do to your relationship with your friends ... this would undoubtedly bring them the greatest joy of all, but I understand your hesitancy ... I look forward to learning more about your journey! :)
Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your encouraging feedback! I definitely plan to follow your blog to help me decide what would be best way for us to do this.
DeleteHi there, just stopping by from ICLW. I can totally relate to this. Been on both sides of this scenario although never pregnant for very long. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by my blog and commenting!
DeleteYour drawings are lovely. Thank you for sharing them. I'm so sorry you have made all these experiences behind them though.
ReplyDeleteAh, so true! And it's so hard for me to tell when I will be affected. I feel like some people's pregnancies affect me more than others. So tough!
ReplyDelete