Sep 20, 2013

Friendly advice


The September ICLW eve, my second time around - welcome to my blog!
This post is drawn from my dear friend's IF journey. What is the most irrational fertility advice you have ever gotten?

17 comments:

  1. Hi from ICLW!

    Oooh that picture makes me so sad! I hate when people say things like that...they really are clueless.

    The worst advice that I've received is that if I really, truly wanted it - my mind and body would know, and I'd get pregnant. So maybe I should pay attention to my body and realize that I don't really want kids. - From a woman who struggled with infertility and had her son by IVF (double ouch).

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    1. Rude. Just awful. Leaves you speechless...

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  2. I nominated you for the Liebster Award: http://theempressandthefool.wordpress.com/2013/09/21/liebster-who-doesnt-love-a-little-recognition/

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  3. People are so insensitive....But I have come to learn, until someone experiences something they just can't understand...

    Happy ICLW

    To celebrate the publication of my book, Dangled Carat, I have a blog tour going on and a giveaway on my blog to celebrate the publication (autographed book, $25 Victoria Secret Gift Card, Sandi Rose CD) - I'd love if you can check it out...

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    1. Good luck with your book. looking great!

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  4. HI, thanks for stopping by from ICLW. Loving your penguins =) The worst advice, and I'm sure tons of people have gotten this, "Why don't you JUST adopt, then you'll get pregnant!" I've had to chew out a few people and set them straight no this already.

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    1. Oh yes. Adoption must be the very first idea that comes to mind to people when they are trying to figure out something encouraging to say...

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  5. Happy ICLW! I'm loving your blog!

    Because our IF journey was preceded by several losses, and because after *that* particular experience and the negative feedback we got, we've been quite protective of sharing our IF diagnosis, most of the irrational and obnoxious comments we got were related to our loss(es). I think one of the worst was when my husband's sister, defending her reason for never reaching out to us after we lost our son at 17 weeks or trying to support her brother, said: 'Well, I know it doesn't really affect the man, so I didn't see a need'. Yikes. So hurtful.

    As far as IF, we've had all the standard stuff too: 'Why don't you just adopt?' or 'Just try to relax and have fun!' which, like...really people? What can I say? People can be soo thoughtless under the guise of being 'helpful'.

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    1. Yikes, definitely! I am so sorry you've needed to hear something like that. So wrong and so cruel :-(

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  6. Hi from ICLW~ love your drawings!!

    Just last night someone told me "you can always JUST adopt" as if that is something easily tangible and something you can JUST do so easily without any mental or financial hold ups at all.

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  7. So sad how most people really try to help but end up saying all the wrong things. I also have a post about this.

    http://www.ttcwithuu.com/2013/09/10-worst-things-to-say-to-your.html

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  8. Hi from ICLW! I love your drawings! I guess the worst advice I got was the old standby, just relax. Hello, have we met? Not happening.

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  9. Hello from ICLW! Ditto on what everyone else said - "You should adopt, and then you'll get pregnant." Ugh. Not helpful. I also had a lot of insensitive stuff said after my miscarriage. Afterwards, I thought about how people didn't say as many dumb things to me when my mom died as they did when I told them about my infertility and miscarriage. I think it's because people can put themselves in your shoes when it comes to the loss of parent, but no one wants to put themselves in your shoes for IF/miscarriage.

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  10. Happy ICLW!
    I too have had all the "regular" comments. One that I've been trying to get the perfect come back for is "Just relax/don't stress, then you'll get pregnant". It makes me want to say something along the lines of "Don't stress, you're cancer will go away on its own." Although, I'd like something a bit less drastic than cancer as an example, yet, that might just be what it needs to be to get people to understand the seriousness of it.

    I also had a co-worker/friend who knew that we had been trying for some time tell me that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be a parent, yet she so easily got pregnant 3 times. Ugh!!

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  11. "Just have sex every day!" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

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